It’s-a done

Well, I just watched New Super Mario Bros.’ credit crawl, so I guess I’m “finished” with the game. But of course I’m not, really. Unlocking everything will probably require a month of effort and a streak of determined masochism. And I’ll be just as happy to wait until I get my hands on a copy that can be played on a Lite, because the old-style DS screen is giving me eyestrain. Yes, I’m spoiled, but I’m also practically half-blind, so ease off.

Now for more important matters: I want for everyone in the world who read the comment about how NSMB could well be referred to as Super Mario Bros. 4 in yesterday’s update and felt compelled to tell me that NO DUDE SMB4 WAS SUPER MARIO WORLD to stop, take a deep breath, and walk over to the mirror. Now, stare intently into the reflection of your own eyes and chant “I will not be so literal-minded” for a short while. Finally, whack yourself over the head with a squeaky mallet or other harmless blunt object.

Once you’re finished with the mild self-flagellation, spend some time in quiet contemplation of what the comment could have meant. Think hard, and if you get it right, you graduate from the Internet.

20 thoughts on “It’s-a done

  1. Lawl. I didn’t even understand why they were so into the whole smb4 thing.

    Quick question for you Jeremy: I think it was Kotaku where I saw it, but apparently a lot of people are starting to question wether or not Nintendo is pulling a prank with Wii. What do you think about it?

    Okay, that wasn’t quick. I’m gonna whack myself over the head with a squeaky mallet or other harmless blunt object now. :P

  2. So, wait, you mean to say that because you called NSMB is SMB4, it is actually Super Mario World?

  3. Good luck with your instructions to the readers. No one on the internet knows what literally actually means.

  4. You’re telling people to hit themselves with harmless objects now? You’re going soft on us! Besides, if you don’t let evolution take its course, they’ll just keep on surviving and possibly breed. Well, maybe not the “breed” part, but you know.

  5. Idiots always breed. I mean, has there ever been a shortage? How many people die each year because they want to live on beach-front property in a hurricane riddled lattitude. And the survivors always say, “We want to rebuild. No storm is going to drive us away.” (Or refuse to evacuate in the first place when Mr. Force Five is barreling down on them.)

    It’s the same with the internet, beat people over the head with logic and they will always be ready to argue the point again.

  6. It’s rather simple. New SMB is more of the true followup in the mad dash to the finish line without falling into pits sense than Super Mario World was. At least that’s how I felt when I played it last year.

  7. Wow you blew though the game. Do you think it has that same timeless charm most of the other SMB games have? I still play the original regularly and never seem to get tired of it. I hope NSMB is at least somewhere in the same league, if not the same ballpark. And…a month to unlock stuff?! There’s that much omake?

  8. What parish meant is that in spirit the game is as fun as Super Mario 3. Plus, it probably is as huge and full of secrets.

  9. I think we should just be grateful that Nintendo has bothered making a new 2D Mario at all. I mean, they hashed out all their old content as long as they could with those terrible GBA ports.

  10. Oh wait! I get it now! Super Mario World wasn’t really SMB4 because of Nintendo’s SNES nomenclature! It was actually SUPER super mario bros and NOT SMB4! It all makes sense now!
    *waits for someone to point out I’m wrong citing that its SMB4 because its in 4D*

  11. I’m just waiting for Parish to give me my bachelors degree on the Internets!

  12. Its a trap! No one gradulates internets university… You come out just as retarded as you were going in! Even if you win you’re still retarded.

  13. Yeah, sorry, I’m not really an accredited university like I’ve been pretending to be. Thanks for the tuition fees, though.

  14. Gasp! A fake, non-accredited universtiy on the internet! I’ve never heard such a thing!

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