Big day at the office

The bane of my prior week is finally online at 1UP: the Rising Fun cover story. I’d offer an exclusive behind-the-scenes look into its creation or whatever, but then I’d probably fall into a post-traumatic flashback and start shooting at people. So better to simply visit, read, and resume counting off the days until I snap for your betting pool.

Also up is my Tomb Raider Legend review which, I must say, turned out to be longer than I realized. (Maybe even longer than the game OH SNAP) There’s a lot to be said about this game; it’s certainly not perfect, but it’s gratifying to see a worthwhile piece of software with the name “Tomb Raider” attached to it. I knew I wasn’t insane for liking the first one. But man, Crystal Dynamics has got to move beyond this abrupt cliffhanger ending b.s., for serious. If you thought Soul Reaver was bad, just wait until you get to TRL’s ending. “Ending,” I mean.

The review also serves as the first example of scoring inconsistencies within my reviews across different publications. I gave TRL an 8.5 in EGM but only an 8 on 1UP.

“What gives?” cry the angry masses.

“We’ve dropped half-points on 1UP,” comes the solemn reply. “And thank god for that.”

It’s still not as satisfying as, say, dropping scores altogether… but it’s a start. It’s easier to see 5 as the median with you’re working on a strict 10-point scale than it is when you start adding fractional elements, presumably because anything resembling a hundred-increment scale makes people think of school grades, where 70 is the beginning of “passing.”

Our goal is to disabuse the general public of that misperception and make them realize that a score of “5” is actually pretty OK. Just kidding — we’ll be happy just to survive the inevitable torrent of hate that will result from the increase in frequency of sub-8 scores.

But fear not, Cult of Eight Point Five — we’re not retrofitting our backlog of reviews, so We Love Katamari is still, yes, 8.5.

32 thoughts on “Big day at the office

  1. i believe you ripped my article’s title off. “how lara got her groove back” was originally posted on my website at 8:56 this morning. i had the title nailed down at 12am, and spent four hours working on the rest of the artwork. i posted it five hours later, when i woke up, and found that you had the same title on the 1up homepage. this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. remember the strategy guide? i don’t like being ripped off. i work hard, and i don’t appreciate plagiarism.

  2. Well, that’s a relief. I was really hoping this TR wouldn’t suck. I actually played Angel of Darkness through twice thinking that maybe all the cool stuff mentioned in the previews for the game were just hidden and I’d missed them.

    Now I just hope Legend has some kind of huge, cool boss monster like in previous games. Or SOMETHING to make up for yet another stupid cliffhanger ending. Better not let me down, my heart is very fragile now. >.

  3. Legend’s final boss exists and is… OK. The best part of the battle is the very impressive weapon you get to use for it. Also, congrats to jim on having invented the phrase “How [female] got her groove back.” Impressive work indeed.

  4. I don´t know Parish, I never really ever played a Tomb Raider game. Do you know if a new Tex Murphy game is in the works? It seems that thanks to Microsoft buying Access Software the series ended in a cliffhanger with Overseer. Now, Tex Murphy is a hero I give a shit about, but Lara fucking Croft? Pfffft.

  5. I always wondered if people who bring up baseless accusations of plagarism (ex: “Damn you J.K. Rowling! I wrote Harry Potter!”) are incredibly paranoid or just self centered. I am now fairly sure that it is both.

  6. …but the new 1up scale is not a 10-point scale. It’s an 11-point scale– any number 0-10.

  7. Huh, looks like they have added a zero. Well done, there. May your pointless nitpicking bring you prosperity and meaningless victories on the Internet for years to come.

  8. No need to wait, JP: it already does. I eagerly await the first issuance of a zero. Or a one, for that matter.

  9. Yargh, beaten at my own game, cut down in my prime.

    Well done, Parish. Well done indeed.

  10. “The last time Lara Croft was in a game worth playing, Final Fantasy VII had the hottest graphics ever…”

    I gather you never played the Game Boy Color games.

  11. never said i invented it. it’s just highly coincidental we both came up with the same title on the same day, yours showing up within couple of hours of mine.

  12. I own and have played both of the GBC Tomb Raiders, but I did not find them particularly enjoyable. They were overly complicated attempts at doing the Prince of Persia thing, except this time in 2D.

  13. “Legend’s final boss exists and is… OK”

    Ah, I guess I can live with OK. As long as it’s not as pathetic as the one at the end of Angel of Darkness. Then again, what…. wasn’t pathetic about that game? Even the little “behind the scenes” thing was ridiculously pretentious.

  14. in reference to your 1up post–korokoro and company will be winging their way to your mailbox in the next week.

  15. I thought one could only accuse of plagiarism when the product in question was original. Otherwise it’s just madly nonsensical craziness.

  16. I… don’t even know anymore. Someone sent me a link to the guy’s page, and I guess he seriously and truly believes that 1UP is ripping him off, which is both funny and sad on many levels.

  17. i think being a fan of VG Cats pretty much negates all credibility in these instances. i’m not far enough in law school to know for certain, though. :

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