Gamespite #6

Alright, so not only is this a day late (I blame Lara Croft), not only is it more annoying insider “humor” that’s only really of interest to people who actually work in the gaming press, it’s also plagued by some really rushed, horrible art full of tortured anatomy, awkward framing and inconsistent faces (hope you like your winsome young editors-in-chief looking weirdly mannish)!

Yeah, I’d say Gamespite has run its natural lifespan. It would be nice if I could maybe come up with something that didn’t head south after half a dozen entries, but I guess I’m just more of an “ideas” guy. Man, that’s depressing.

28 thoughts on “Gamespite #6

  1. Hey, it’s that mirror again.

    Well, I guess it could be either of us, depending on what other Rockstar game you were thinking of.


  2. Also, one erratum: State of Emergency was a 2002 release, not 2003. It was out well before I got kicked out of IGN. Doug Perry reviewed it, and gave it an 8.6, if memory serves.


  3. It wasn’t that bad, really. It seems that the first two installments of your comics are always the best, then the rest kind of go downhill. Maybe you need to try shorter series…I did like the art, though.

  4. “it’s also plagued by some really rushed, horrible art full of tortured anatomy, awkward framing and inconsistent faces.”
    And don’t forget the grammatical error in the second panel.

  5. I almost would feel sorry for Rockstar’s fall from grace if their games actually had some gameplay and a story. The gratuitous shooting and maiming in GTA and State of Emergency and the lack of a diverse line-up reminds me too much of Turok and Acclaim in general. Anyway, at least JP has a new company to add to his old column of videogame companies which blew it.

  6. I think you should cut Igor lose. Send him out into the world, to crush the minds and will of game developers and children everywhere.

    That said, I think you should stick with it. Maybe you can find your voice after a few more of these comics.

    – Eddie

  7. Maybe! Or maybe I’ll just become so annoyed with my constant public displays of incompetence that I’ll throw myself off a bridge. What an exciting crapshoot this site will be.

  8. Crap! Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap! I just noticed that recently I used the word “salacious” in a completely twisted and horrible context. It has just it me and… ewww. The word I was actually thinking is “facetious”, and allow me to clear that up. That’s what I get for neglecting to practice my vocabulary for years. This message will repeat on Monday to embiggen my shame. EWWWWWWWWWW.

  9. Oh, c’mon Parish. It’s nice. Like the Matrix in red instead of green or something. And girls looking like guys, that’s just the cherry on top. The editor is Trinity, I get it. And the asian girl with glasses, oh, the hilarity!
    And Igor gave a bad score to a Rockstar game? He definetly doesn’t work for IGN! He is a cool macho type. Like Steve McQueen.

  10. Steve McQueen is The King of Cool. He did the very very first kickass car chase ever filmed in Bullit. He is what I’ve always wanted to be. He is so badass that Harrison Ford has to pray to him and ask for permission every time he is going to try to be badass! Yes, Steve McQueen is the Saint Patron of badassness!

  11. Yeah! Steve McQueen is also the Lord of All that is Rad, and the Count of Peril. Not to be confused with a Duke of Hazard, because that’s already taken and they only achieved Duke-status because they where two. But Steve did it by himself. I already knew who Steve McQueen is, I just wanted to receive that kind of response. Thanks, All tomorrow’s!

  12. So is the new Lara Croft game good? Or are you just burdened with having to complete it to review it?

  13. Parish, let me be honest with you. I like your work. Otherwise I wouldn’t still be reading this, and I have been since way back, back when you reviewed goddamn cereal.

    But this “I suck at everything I do” stuff? Yeah, it’s got to go.

  14. I tell you what. As soon as I can do something well on a consistent basis (besides writing about video games, which isn’t really much for bragging rights), I’ll be more upbeat. Deal?

  15. I see Jeremy cleaned up the second panel.
    Also, is it just me or is Jeremy his own worst critic?

  16. The worst part of these strips is how much double posting they seem to have inspired.

    I’ll take the blame for this bout of “I’m so going to nuke the site in 5… 4… 3…” guys. I called Jeremy’s religious symbolism heavy-handed (in jest!) and apparently sent him on a shame spiral.

    Or possibly a shame bender.

    When is, um “Editor B” up there going to write a GameSpite theme song?

  17. at least you get a half dozen entries out of your ideas. mind usually flounder before they even leave my head.

  18. god, it’s like parish’s constant cycle of death and rebirth has become a cosmic marker by which fans can orient themselves to the universal clock to. like a day of Brahma or something. ‘And lo! the Parish opened his webdesign program and all came to be. And then he maintained it and resurrected old souls of clever content and populated existance. And his fans returned, expecting the worse, but living each moment to the fullest. And then he grew weary of it and dissolved the world into the primordial soup of the intraweb, and the cycle began again.”

  19. Yes, of all humans, Parish seems to be the one made more to the likeness of Brahma. I bet some prog band could make a kickass song out of it.

  20. I like it, although between the art style and the dialogue it comes across as being very Daniel Clowes. (Not a complaint – actually a compliment – but it still makes me think “Eightball”.)

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